It's funny how children shape, reorganize, mess-up the planned chaos that I have manufactured in my mind. Ha! I wish I could embrace this fact and allow my expectations to just "go with the flow." It's kinda like Pavlov's dog...hear the bell, salivate, eat. Repeat. Well every time I am just amazed at how God uses the youngest ones to teach me the biggest of lessons. It is a surprise? Well He does put emphasis on the smallest of seeds to be our target for faith. He calls the youngest unto Himself when the others were shuffling them to the "kid's table." He takes the lunch of a small boy and does miraculous division; feeds thousands and has left-overs. He heals the son to strengthen the faith of the family and "a little child will lead."
So really, it's me that has issues with understanding. He's pretty clear how things will unfold and is consistent with those He uses, always for a greater mystery. Thanks young ones for sharing the visions, growing our faith and seeing the bigger picture. It's odd, this world we live in. We say, "Wait till life hits you. You ain't seen problems yet. There's more fish in the sea; it's just teenager love. Been there, done that. Done my time, I will watch." I've been as guilty as any of saying these very phrases that I said I wouldn't dare think, much less say. I think as we examine this world view, we find that the center is filled with lessons learned, yes. But it's centered on me. My time done. My heart that's been used or crushed. My disappointments that hover me. My control. It eliminates the philosophy of "older women lead the younger" and isolates both players. God himself modeled this by joining us in human form: walking, talking, spending time with us. I feel certain he tired of our complaints, rules, conditional love and small increments of grace if any.
As I cultivate the meaning of grace, my opinions and analysis seem irrelevant. Isn't that the point of grace? Not expected. Not earned. I often see the church fighting this issue of "when to give? Is it appropriate? Iis it deserved?" We make a checklist before we extend the hand of grace. Grace really isn't MY gift to others. It's God's divine hand reaching through me and blessing, loving, giving to another pilgrim. It kinda makes me pause. We often clothe our decisions in vocabulary such as "stewardship, accountability, budgetable, etc." I am not saying we shouldn't be wise with decisions, money and time. But we've carried the process so far that it is excruciating for the askee or the person in need; we've made it an unapproachable process.
I don't have the answer or a vision of clarity but I see many people and institutions missing blessings, remember the blessing is in the giving because we didn't budget the item or we want to double check our resources to make sure there's enough left-over. I think these are the puzzles of living the day-to-day life.
Isn't it more like Jesus to give even the shirt you wear than to store it away in a closet? Wouldn't that be applicable to our money...storing here on Earth or in the bank or in "stuff" I own? I believe the answer is yes. Yet we work ourselves to death planning the best way to use every penny using the interest only, so the amount I see monthly only grows but never shrinks. God is proud of me because I gave. We are so thrilled that we have given the extra...extra interest, extra time.
I am not sure that's the point. If it's only the interest or extra that's touched, we don't really notice it, do we? Like the little boy and the 5000 thousand...he didn't give his left-overs or the lunch he prepared to share. He gave ALL he had.
Wendy
