Free or Not?

I am disturbed by how the poorest in our world are overlooked or judged.  Yes some of it "they" bring on themselves but some of my hardships, I contribute greatly...  Why is it different when we see others?  In lue of compassion, we resort to criticizing or enforcing the rules to why this event took place.  In place of giving one's hand to hold or to help, we stare from afar...usually from the pew we sit so comfortably.  We offer lots of "suggestions" under our breath, cannot imagine if we could hear the thoughts.  Then we smile, like the Cheshire Cat, saying "I will pray for you."

I am ever thankful that God doesn't patronize me with such empty judging responses.  I wonder if we really consider all that we have to be from Him?  Maybe we've never really had to live "without" or experienced desperate hunger.  If our souls thirsted for Christ, we couldn't hold onto our worldly possessions.  We would be giving exhaustively.  (don't know if that's an appropriate use of or real word but it seems appropriate)

I have known a few folks in my pathway that live this life of Christ.  Exhaustive Giving.  Seeing through the pain, with eyes of Jesus, and beyond the rules.  It's these folks who see a hungry family and spend their last $5 for chicken and fries.  We don't see these heroes   They are not the ones who "count" the acts of goodness and delete the expired requests   They leave that job to the Lord.  They also see possessions as dust blowing in the wind.  They don't worry about tomorrow because they live in the moment.  They know "whom they believe" and they are not ashamed of that gospel

They stand for justice even if it's not popular.  They seek the Lord with their hearts and leave the rest to God.  He can work it out.  I am not sure that most "good" folk and church-going folk rest in this lifestyle.  For it's too uncertain and never makes checks/balances.  It always seems to be coming out of left field and measures not to standards of the law.  This lifestyle doesn't seem to have spot to "fit" other frameworks; it's foundation is "even the Lord doesn't have a spot to lay his head."

It rejoices for the most insignificant, cares for the dying and shares breaking of bread any-day  mirroring the small boy's lunch which given through hands of Jesus fed well over 5000.  I think the heartbreak in this story is that "we" think we are the FREE.  It's the opposite.  Those who live life according to Jesus aren't in bondage to the rules or what people think.  They don't look for the emptiness of this world to feed/nurture their soul.  We are the captives.  We misunderstand giving our lives to the Lord, daily, with "wearing" ourselves out with service.  We win as it relates to burn-out, criticism, unforgiveness, entitlement, judging, even giving at times of crisis.  Because it's not the act, it's much deeper.  It's the heart.  When the heart belongs to the Creator, we begin to see Jesus.

Jesus...the healer on the Sabbath, the wrecker of the temple when it was used to indulge our desires, the storm-calmer after we've all stressed in fear, the forgiver despite being betrayed by those dearest, sacrificial when it is wasn't deserved or earned, the free-er of those outcast-ed   It's not the candidate I usually line up to support.  It's not the most attractive club to join.  Yet it is the Free Gift of Christ as He died for you and me.  It's the Gospel, the Kingdom here on Earth.

Sadly we reject this rhetoric   We want to look as the world.  We want to keep driving and lock our doors as we pass those who are rejects of society.  We will give a little when asked but invite all those in the ditch to OUR feast?  Not usually.  It's really troubling to me...we will travel lengths to do missions, but dare not have our lives invaded by those "who don't belong."

Newsflash...we are heirs to God's kingdom by adoption, and we simply break God's heart repeatedly.  We use the flesh to meet our needs and sift through what we should do with OUR resources like it's really up to us.  Feed my sheep. Take care of the widows, the poor...live life with long-suffering as Christ so freely calls us.  Be as the birds, caring for the day...tomorrow will have enough.  Don't stash "it" away in case the blessings/provisions might not return or that it might just be God "toying" with us.

I guess I am utterly amazed at the effort and energy it takes to be us.  It's not restful nor is it free.  A simple calling to freedom...God is love.  It trumps everything else.

Shadows...

A common description I hear among teenagers is, "My heart is breaking or I can't take it anymore."  I am reminded of the verse in His Eye Is On The Sparrow ~

 "Why do I feel discouraged?  Why do the shadows come?  

Why does my heart feel lonely and long for heaven and home.  

When Jesus is my portion, a constant friend is He, 

His eye on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."

If we are honest, we all feel trapped by the "shadows" and often can't find the strength to pull ourselves together.  Life finds us and envelopes us with all kinds of shadows, oceans and forests.  I guess that's why the imagery of being protected by the Lord's hand, "cleft of the rock" is so powerful.  After reading Francine River's The Sin Eater, this picture became so clear as this little child was "chased" by a predator yet NEVER found.  The cleft of rock made her invisible from the enemy.  God knows exactly when we are facing the Jezebels in our life...when, we are ready to give up and prepare to die.  Elijah, the prophet, felt this exact feeling.  Instead of allowing Elijah to perish, God fed and nourished him in a cave.  He equipped his mental and physical body as strength was gained, in order that He could win bigger battles.

Take courage and feel encouraged that God has not set you up to fail.  He's got bigger plans; ones that will set your feet on mountains that can only be moved with His strength.  The same strength that is made perfect in our weakness.  I will choose to sing...

"I sing because I am happy.  I sing because I am free.  

His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me."

Me, Jesus and The Log at Camp

Went to a Girls In Action overnight event at a local camp with my youngest, Sophia.  Camp brings back many memories for me...attending Camp Carson as a 3rd grader with one of my sweetest life-long friends.  We had never been away from home that long, didn't know how to showers in a dormitory-style place...guess what?  Didn't take a shower because we were embarrassed with older girls and getting in the shower made my friend very homesick.  Didn't kill us and created grown-up laughing memories. So this event evoked memories and even songs. It reminded me of when I worked as a counselor for three summers and those days were part of my experiencing and discerning who God is and what He means to me.  In fact my first time to lead a group devotion occurred on the banks of the river in West Tennessee. Proverbs 3:5-6 became a wonderful expression of my faith.  I had no idea the foreshadowing into the grown-up life I would experience.

So on the bus we went, all the GA's and their moms.  Camp fire, smores, "Sin"box skit (that will date ya!), playing in the creek and paddling in a canoe. Well I didn't canoe...thanks Miss Jill for allowing Sophia to experience this part of camp.  LOL!  During the campfire, sitting next to a mom that I had grown-up with in Morristown, we laughed at how uncoordinated we were in songs like "Row Row Row Your Boat" and "Bingo" ~ we felt old as we stood up/down to the tunes of our campfire magic while trying not to "roll" the log backwards as we stayed in beat with the music.  Really we were the comedy.

But the girls didn't even notice.  They were in the moment...stars, fire, marshmallows and singing. Sophia even volunteered to lead a song with sign language...I was shocked b/c she didn't know the sign language but her courageous spirit lead any inhibitions I was most concerned about. In the middle of Miss Jill's devotion, Sophia leaned near me and said "Mama, this fire reminds me of God.  I just love Him.  This is great and I want to come here every year." At that moment I thought of how simple God's love is...

Where did my love for him go?  Why is it so contingent on external things?  External entitlements?  External demands and expectations?  As we grow older, we are missing some of those Jesus moments  b/c we fussing about how it all got planned or didn't get planned.  Or dwelling on the intentions of the request   We miss Jesus.  He is often in those spur of the moment venues...often in the unexpected...often in the unplanned.  When we finally get our act together or our "stuff" in order, the party is over.  Jesus is moving onto the next party.  A great reminder to what is valued?

Create in me Lord a pure heart that desires you mostly! A heart that is flexible and willing to bend and not be in control.  A little spontaneity so I might experience the mysteries of the One who created me... the One who told the ocean where to begin/end and grows life out of death.