Granddaddy has pulmonary fibrosis and has been actively living his life until it came to a halt this past week. The fibrosis masked in pneumonia stopped him in his tracks, robbing him of his legs and zapping his energy. We all rushed to the side of grandmother while holding his hands...praying for some suffering-free miracle.
Reality. He isn't going home, the the home on Sevier Avenue anyway, and must stay in the hospital till Jesus calls him. In this time of grief, we've been granted a gift. A gift of presence and conversation. Midst the Lysol smelling hospital room, we are communing together as a family. The great grandchildren have been to see him...in their own ways saying goodbye, singing songs, telling stories, playing music and retelling jokes. The grandchildren- me, Michael and Jen - have reminisced about riding motorcycles, making mud pies, fixing things, etc. We've laughed and cried more tears than we thought possible. The children- Brenda and Debbie- have stayed connected alongside both parents with tears, smiles and preparing their hearts to say goodbye. An ending of sorts, a beginning of another.
Painful. Agonizing. Yes. Worth it? Absolutely! God has allowed us to gather together, sitting on the floor, surrounding granddaddy's bed. Once again, he's teaching us. We are the students. He's the mentor even at deaths door. He is teaching us humility, grace, courage and how to walk through the valley of death without fear. To sit midst the enemy of death and fear no evil. Beautiful.
What came clear was observing my dad, Jimmy, shave and comb granddaddy's hair. He asked for a hot towel in his soft wrinkled skin, where the tubes and tape have stuck to his porcelain face. My dad was the servant yet he was being served through gran daddy's yielding to the picture of grace.
Deeply moving- picture of Jesus coming to the world to be served. To sit among the weak and least, the sickly- offering drink and food giving restoration. Thankful I could witness this act of love.
Treading carefully through grief...the art of embracing and letting go.
