Get yourself together

Pulling myself together is a line that we hear in our culture.  On most days, it's not that big of a deal...you know you find yourself going through the motions and pulling yourself together is not a great feat.  But when the waters begin to run over you and you feel the foundation below you moving, a bit of fear sets in.  If you aren't able to move or shift your position, you will probably fall.  Water gets deeper, you shift positions without submitting to the current or rush of waves...hoping you can withstand the trial; then pull yourself together at end to stand erect again.

It sounds crazy as I write the words because my brain begins processing each part of the struggle.  While I am struggling, I am hoping for a mind is clear enabling me to  make sound decisions.  Not caving to the pressure of losing; while facing frantic panic and survival face to face.  Sounds like an intense oncoming rush of the unknown.

How can I prepare?  You cannot.  You simply pour solid particles in your foundation and hope that as the water rises or rushes, you will stand.  Pulling yourself together seems like the 'self-made man' and admired my many.  Although we rarely see the fear that might hid beneath the victory lap at the end.

Because it's not the strength of my "great self" but actually in my weakness.  It's when I feel I literally cannot move on or forward, God is able to do great things.  It's those times that I know my strength was not perfect, in fact it's unraveling.  God knits together a perfect peace to restore unto me the joy of knowing Him through salvation.

It's mysterious for sure.  It doesn't add up and cannot be "pulled up by your bootstraps" or bull-dogging your way through; it's the act of giving sight to the blind with mud-pies.  It's freeing the man with no way to the pool and making him whole.  It's redeeming the woman at the well without condemnation.  It's in the courage to lower your friend to the Jesus knowing HE will make a difference. It's crying out when the words aren't audible or understandable.

Create in me a clean heart.